Saturday, February 13, 2010

until death by blackberries do us part.

Valentine's Day currently alludes me.
I think it's the pressure that it involves
to be in love,
and if not in love,
then to be infatuated,
and if not infatuated,
then to be involved,
or in the process,
or somehow on the way
to not being alone.

But, you see, at this point in my life, alone is exactly what I am.
Not the bad kind of alone,
because I am surrounded by some of the kindest and most generous people the world can conjure up.
But, instead, I'm the unattached kind of alone-
as unattached as I've been in a very long time.

I'm generally not bitter about this. And, for the most part, I look at it as an opportunity-
to be a better part of one,
instead of an equal part of two.

But there are moments,
days even,
when I very much hope that some day I can love another man well.
And while I used to fear that I had lost my hope for this kind of thing,
I'm not so sure anymore.

So this Valentine's Day,
as many of you do all of the goofy and silly things that people like you do on this particular day,
I will do the things that people like me do every other ordinary day.
I will go to work,
and do some laundry,
and fix myself some dinner,
and do my best to enjoy being the unattached kind of alone.
Because even if no one decides to choose me to spend their days with ever again,
I refuse to not choose myself.

After all, I really am a cheap date.


Rachel said...

I'm with ya, sister...

Ruth said...

This is the best. You said it perfectly. I refuse to not choose myself, too!

Elizabeth said...

i couldn't agree with you more! ha ha and your sister took an amazing photo!

Caroline said...

Thanks for the credit, but I never took that photo...

Courtney Hope said...

Caroline, that is too funny. Then it must've been our madre, huh? I thought it was you.