Monday, July 20, 2009

This is the night, what it does to you.

Well. The puppy is curled up at my feet. I think I can officially announce now that she is mine, at least for this next part of things. Her official name is Marlo Fiona. Don't ask. It is what it is. I tried out a few on her and Marlo was the first one she responded to. I figure she should have some say in the whole naming ordeal. After all, she's the one who is going to hear it screamed at her over and over, right? She's a wily little thing- sensing my vulnerabilities about life and allowing me to take my time making the decision. She knew what she was doing. I, on the other hand, have NO idea what I'm doing. I'm kind of just hoping I don't kill her somehow. Every once in a while she'll look at me with this look that seems to say " You? Really? I got stuck with you?" to which I respond "You? Really? I got stuck with you?" and then we kiss and make up and the whole world is happy again. It seems like this might be an appropriate metaphor for marriage somehow. So, yep. Right now it seems to be me and Marlo vs. the rest of the happy world. I'll let you know who wins later.

My family came down for a short visit this past weekend. It was really great to see them. I think they sensed my need to see them after these last couple of months and they were wonderful to come to me, allowing me to just be where I'm at and do what I do. We hung out here for a bit, introducing Marlo to all sorts of crazy things this world has to offer, like parks and fountains and lakes and, gasp, new people... They left yesterday morning, and after all of my tears had subsided (because I cry like a baby whenever I have to say goodbye to them) I tried to silence my soul enough to enjoy the day in this quiet house. I'm still adjusting to things, but I think I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

And today, the rain has stopped by for a little graceful conversation that has been an unexpected blessing to my afternoon. I'm about to head into work for a few hours and then I'll come back and try to get some reading done. I'm still working on a Kerouac book that I think I like, but then I think maybe I'm not quite sure just yet. Regardless, there are some great lines that seem to feed my moods plural these last couple of weeks.

This is one of my favorites: "... Lucille would never understand me because I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion." - On the Road, J. Kerouac

I completely understand.

1 comment:

Megan said...

Oh, I'm so glad you've decided to keep her. They're the best companions in the world- but then again, this is coming from an animal fanatic. Very cool name, btw. Also, I don't know if you got my e-mail about all of that Anglican stuff, but you're more than welcome to come with me ANYTIME... just say the word. Also, I started another blog about my REAL life happenings, if you'd like to check it out. It's: http://myrecessiontherapy.blogspot.com/

Hope your days get brighter, Courtney. Call me to hang out anytime. Look forward to getting to know you better.

Megan