Monday, May 4, 2009

Note to all: If your mother follows your twitter, make sure you do not leave any perceivable drug references in your update...

So, earlier today I was having a quick conversation with my mom. My mom is a pretty funny lady when she wants to be, but she is often even funnier when she doesn't intend to be. These are generally my favorite moments- you know, when she tells a ridiculous story or gives me life changing advice- this is the kind of fodder that makes for a good blog post, so I've learned to keep my ears open.

Well, today was no exception. As we chatted a bit on the phone, she referenced my blog, and how my sarcasm is a bit seething and how she wholeheartedly doesn't agree with some of my twitter choices in who I'm following (i.e. "those trashy Kardashian sisters and Demi Moore, Courtney? Really? She's old and creepy and married to that Ashton Kutcher, who is just sooo obnoxious...") I shake my head and tell her I'm aware of the trashiness factor and that I'm still new to the Twitter thing and to lighten up a little. I mean really, what's the point of a narcissistic invention like Twitter if you can't include a few famous people in on the deal?

And then came my favorite.

"So, I saw on your twitter that you had said something to your friend David... you mentioned how you missed him, and that you wanted to study with him?... And that you wanted him to... (and she gave a nice dramatic pause here) bring fun things over to your house?...."

"Um, yes, I guess I said something to that effect."

And then, after a moment of thought, she dropped this gem:

"Courtney," she sighed. "Were you talking about pot? Did you and David smoke pot together?Because I can see where that would maybe be a possibility. Is that the 'fun stuff' you wanted him to bring over?" (Sidenote: She pronounced the word "pot" as only a mom truly can.. you know, making sure to really annunciate the 't' sound...)

"Um, I'm sorry. I don't think I know what to say to that. Because last I checked I was 26 and poor and not prone to casual drug use..."

"Well, I mean, it just sounded a bit suspicious. You talked about bringing fun things over and what am I supposed to think?"

Sigh.

I wish I could have these kinds of conversations with my mom every day. I guess I won't tell her about that crack pipe I hit pretty hard earlier...

Just kidding mom. You know I love you.

And David, maybe if you didn't look like such a pot-smoking hippie I wouldn't be having this conversation.

Just kidding. I love you too. Most of the time.














7 comments:

david said...

I really had to think about my reply message, and decided that it was okay - especially because it wouldn't make it onto Facebook. Marsha! I don't smoke pot! Even now that I'm not employed by Sky Ranch!

Julie said...

Remember that time that we thought we found pot at TOTW?

This made my day.

Ashley said...

I seriously just laughed harder than I have for awhile. I love your mom. I'm a little disturbed that you jumped on the Twitter bandwagon, but I wish I had an account now so I could follow you. ;) Next time you're in L-town, we're sooo smoking pot. J/k.

Erin Dietrich said...

Oh my goodness - I laughed so hard I think a tear slid out the corner of my eye - of course, I was having an adult beverage at the time so my mental state might have been altered, but don't tell your mom!

This is so freaking funny - at least your mom asks about that stuff, I guess. My mom just assumes and never outright asks!

So funny! Thanks for sharing!

Thunder said...

you should have told her you agree with it becoming legalized. thanks for the laughs. i think my mom would have told me to bring it over next time i visit... :/

nunface said...

this post really made my day. tell your mom to call me and say funny things to me too! oh wait, i have my own mama who has her own quirks. they should be friends.

Gisele said...

hilarious!!!