Wednesday, October 8, 2008

On the eve of old.

Last year at just about this time (if I remember correctly in my old age...) I was this close to complete panic. I was turning 25 and I remember questioning everything that was within mental capacity regarding my life: where I was, what I was doing, how I was living, how fat I was looking (silly, i know)... which, of course, was quickly followed with thoughts of where I wasn't, what I WASN'T doing and all of the many goals I was NOT accomplishing. You know, the typical "Oh dear God, what have I become?" kind of party that seems to happen when you least expect it... (kind of like a surprise party... eh, eh?).

I say this to remind myself of how nice it is to be sitting in the same house as that last fateful birthday eve, and not feel that familiar panic begin to set in. It's revealing to reflect on what a year can bring. It's interesting, the people that are still around even though you were sure they wouldn't be. It's sad, the people that you hoped would stil be a part of your days and yet, they don't seem to be. It's hopeful, the way that I have been continually provided for and taken care of. And really, it's truly ridiculous, the way that I am STILL singing songs from the 'hairspray' soundtrack (damn you James Marsden and your cute little suit...)

But beyond these things, what's overwhelmingly beautiful is the way that I have been loved and encouraged by the many people in my life who 'get it'... and I think each of you know who you are. I have learned the value of having good people in my days, and I am so grateful that the last 365 have been spent shared instead of horded and pint up. So, I believe many thanks are in order. To all of you, thank you so much for helping me beyond the panic and into the now... into today.

Now I am counting on each of you to remind me of this fact the next time mental breakdown decides to throw me a party:)

So, here's to another learning year where the laughter outweighs the tears and musicals rule our tv set. Long live turning 26.

3 comments:

growingfreely said...

ahhh James Marsden...if only he'd come over and teach us that sacred dance move

i'm glad you were born :)

Shannon Kelly said...

I hear you liked your birthday photo!

I was going to put a ":)" after that comment...but then I saw that lyndsey has already put a ":)" in her comment. She beat me to the punch!

anyway, talk to ya later.

Lump said...

I had an early mid-life crisis when I turned 28 this past August. Now I can't wait to see what happens when I turn 30! haha