Thursday, May 22, 2008

So this is what it feels like...

I've always wondered- on those horrible, frustrating, sweaty days- what it would feel like to leave for good. I dreamt about it sometimes, talked about it more, and imagined the feelings that would ensue. I guess now I know. So this is what it feels like...

It doesn't really feel like much of anything...

Lyndsey and I grabbed dinner with our beautiful friend Tiffany tonight, and as we drove home, I couldn't help but think about the possibilities for my life in the next year. It's amazing the changes that a year can bring. I have friends that are happily married that hadn't even met their spouses 12 months ago. I have other friends that are new parents. A year ago they never would have dreamed babies to be a possibility. Who knows? Maybe this time next year I will be a vegetarian transgendered male who writes children's books for a living. I mean, any thing's possible, right? I guess it's just funny how we adapt. What is foreign and strange one moment is all you know the next. And what has been my life for the last three years is very suddenly my past.

I guess I'll just move on into the future and wait for the reality of change to smack me. Until then, you better not ask me what it feels like. You'll most likely get a very boring answer:)

2 comments:

dont blink. said...

I didnt see you this whole week and I wont see you this WHOLE summer!! I miss you already and hope your drive was as good as ours...its weird you are gone....but have fun!

Liz said...

So you're thinking about a sex-change operation. That's cool.

So what's your plan at this point, again? I remember you telling me, but I've forgotten what you told me.